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A Promise is a Promise.

I don't know what has gotten into me lately. I've been through another slump and some of my more personal issues are making their ways back into my mind. It might be hard to say this without you knowing what those issues are, but it's not something that I wish to disclose to anyone. Even my closest friends don't know the details of the matter, but please, bare with me.

Something big happened to me a while back and I don't know if the scars will ever run themselves dry. Still, I can't get myself to blame anyone for anything or any of those other vents that we use to let go of things. Its so much easier to let go if you blamed someone else or even yourself, because then it sort of feels like its resolved-as if the "mystery" surrounding the event were gone. If you make up your own answers, then there's no more reason to ask yourself "Why?" It may seem like an odd solution, but we all do it. We help ourselves move on by resolving things in our own hearts no matter what the method.

But I can't seem to bring myself to do that. I can't blame anyone. I can't make up answers for this, and becasue I can't do that, I can't help but ask myself "Why?" over and over again. There was never any intention to hurt or anything, so how can I place the blame if there is nothing for anyone to be blamed for?

But then I remembered all the promises that we made. Promises to laugh and smile. Promises to protect and cherish. Promises to remember and move on.

Promises to live.

There are other ways to move on and move forward without putting anything behind you. I promised to never regret my past, disregard the present, or fear the future. Maybe I can't make up reasons for this to have happened and maybe I can't stop asking myself "Why?" but that doesn't mean that I've lost the fight.

Everytime something smacks you down time and time again, look at it straight in the face- don't run. Remember everything that lead you down the path you are on and the promises that kept you going until that point and how you vowed never to break them. Then look at your problem for what it is and say "A promise is a promise."

TheSkyIsCalling
-Chelle

At my friend's house

And all we're doing right now is listening to Jack's Mannequin songs and talking about life and why we do the things we do. I can't type on her laptop. Please dont mind my typos.

So yeah. I'm at my friend's house and she's halfway conscious. I think it was the Starbucks that made me crash like this.

But anyways. We' just talking about random crap and why things turn out as they do. We all grow up one way thinking "I'll never do that." and stuff like that. Next thing we know, we're doing whatever we said we'd never do. Why do things turn out like that?

Well. We're all gradually changing. It isn't always for better or for worse, but its happening nonetheless. I don't know if we'll ever find an answer as to why things turn out as they do, but we live on anyways. Time doesn't stop for us, and we can't waste anytime fretting over what we will never understand or simply chose not to understand.

As the great Andrew McMcahon of Jack's Mannequin and Something Corporate said in the song "Lights and Buzz":

And time, time it stops for no one
The seasons come and go and that's just time
Yeah time it stops for no one
The seasons keep on going
Whether or not we're blind

That's it for now I guess. Maybe the coffee or something got to me, too. I don't think my mind is working as well as it should. Oh well.

But listening to Andrew McMahon's lovely voice and beautiful piano melodies will always take me to a happier place. I will leave off with a quote to the song that is playing right now. It's my favorite song of all time. It's the very first line of the song and it's how I hope I see each day of my life. "I'm Ready" by Jack's Mannequin.

And today was a day just like any other...

TheSkyIsCalling
-Chelle

A Waste of Freedom

I know that this is all up on .moon, but I'll put it up for the lazy folk out there. Here's one of my first short stories. I found it a while ago and revised it and viola! This is what comes out of it. When you read it, I want you guys to ask yourself one thing, which one is the wasted freedom?

A Waste of Freedom

A small group of men gazed dreamily at a hawk soaring over their heads. The men were young and had no official place to call home. They were drifters, loving the open air and enjoying the simple freedoms that life had to offer.

There was no reason for the hawk’s flight. It had eaten well that morning and had no competition for territory. The hawk drifted lazily on the lovely thermals of the warm summer day. It soared continuously without landing, something a hawk wouldn’t normally do. Rarely did it have such a day, in which I could fly free of all worries and cares. Maybe even hawks needed a break from life, too.

A blessed breeze lifted the hawk higher through the open sky. One of the men held his breath, feeling as though his heart was carried on the same breeze. The men admired the hawk’s freedom. It has always been Man’s dream to fly freely through the air, to brush the clouds and know the true meaning of fresh air. It is a dream that men have pursued and failed, left only to admire from afar. The young men imagined how happy the hawk must feel, living a dream that many others will never reach.

No. A hawk knows no happiness. Life is much too simple. Never would a hawk waste energy gaining altitude for a 200 mph dive, just to feel the thrill of falling at a deadly speed; that is a human emotion. A hawk doesn’t know happiness, only the satisfaction of a successful hunt. The hawk doesn’t know sadness, only the knowing hunger clawing at its stomach from no recent kills. A hawk will never experience love or hate. It only knows its instincts: “Kill or be killed. Get rid of all those in your path.” Its rivalry is over food or a mate, not for love, but for the survival of the species.

Now, the men pitied the hawk. It was a waste of freedom. It would never know the gift that his has been granted. A pity.

One of the men watched the hawk dip low, barely over the man’s head, and skims the ground before rising to meet the sky once more. As it gained altitude, it began to fly past a nearby hill. Before it had a chance, a gunshot pierced the air and the hawk fell to the ground, never to fly again.

The young men laughed and hopped into their car. They had not a care in the world and drove off to enjoy their lives in freedom. , leaving the body of the hawk behind them.

A pity, I’m sure. Such a waste of freedom.

TheSkyIsCalling
-Chelle

It's been a while...

I've finally decided to reopen a blog that I used to have long ago before a whole lotta crap happened. If you don't remember my blog or was never a part of my old one, then you should know why I blog in the first place:

Because I can.

Isn't that just the greatest feeling alive? Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

Oh well. I just felt like I should because I have written various things and random stuff that I want people to read and yet I don't. Sometimes its nice to share things with others, right? Right. Don't you dare question me!

Ok. I'm rambling. I just needed a first post before I tell all the old blog people about my new one. Hi to anyone else new.

I'm in the middle of a trilogy right now. It's called Eternal Melody and I've been working on it for almost two years, and for all of you who used to read my previous work, which very few people actually know about (guess the secret is out now tho...) then you'll probably enjoy this. It's been a few years but I am very proud of this work in progess. My style has matured a bit, but I still feel very amatuer when I write, probably because its been years since I have tried anything close to this. I'll try to keep the world up to date on this.

If you wanna read my work that is on the internet, then go here. It's a great place and I've "met" a lot of people there.

Once again, to the old school people, you can see that my old work has been wiped off the face of this planet. That's right. My old penname and everything that used to be under it has been forgotten. I start anew. So thanks for the old fans, but its time for a newer and hopefully better start.

And for the new folk, ignore that. =^^=. It sure has been a while and my old self is basically gone. I've changed over the years (haven't we all) and so has everything I believe in and have worked on. That is why there are only a few stories up and such.

I am rewriting my "essays" though. Do you guys remember my weird ones on passion, trust, priciples, eternity, etc.? Well. I'm redoing them. So, if you go to .moon right now, I have very little up. I hope to get a break in my schedule sometime soon so that I can put a lot more up, but for now, I want to finish this trilogy.

About that, the Eternal Melody trilogy looks like it will consist of the books Unspoken Oblivion, Twilight Dirge, and Dusk Requiem. I have a lot of plans so stay tuned.

And now, as I am merely rambling, I will stop talking and you can go on with your lives. Sorry for the dull post. I promise better stuff later.

TheSkyIsCalling

-Chelle